Happiness and Resilience

Just dropping in for a few moments from my writing hiatus while I’m writing “Please Don’t Die” , my suicide prevention book.

The nice thing about writing, once you get past some of the difficult parts, is the research that you do.  Because I’m busy writing the intervention and prevention section of the book, the most important part, I am coming up with new concepts and understandings and I wanted to share some with you.  Sometimes the ideas are similar to ones you’ve heard before, but when you’re able to conceptualize new thoughts in new ways, you can get that aha moment.  I’ve certainly learned a few new things I want to share with you.

I’m currently reading the Resilience Factor by Karen Reivich and Andrew Shatte.  This is very well written and recommended.  I know you will like the self testing part about how resilient you are and learning about how to grow this personal characteristic to help you cope with all of life’s stressors.   But for now, here’s a little bit I have found very useful because it’s alot of information in a very few words.  So take your time, and go back and think about how important all of these things actually are, and how they impact your functioning every day, and your view about how good or bad your life is.

First, it’s the notion of our internal narrative.  When you listen to your narrative, is the basis of your happiness internal or external?  Yes, we all get upset when we get a flat tire,  I’m not referring to that. I’m referring to how you see yourself in the world.  Do you see yourself as in control of your happiness?  Or do you see the world as in control?  If you don’t get that you’re the one that has to control your happiness, and make your own happiness, then you will never be happy.  That’s essential step one.

A step two, is to examine three important things in your life: your behavior, your emotions, and your attention.  Only when you have control of these three things can you find happiness. These are the three things you have to pay attention to day to day. If you’re in a mental place where your brain is all over, you have to do something to improve your attention control. If you have ADD, get it treated. If you have anxiety, find out how to self calm.  If you practice Mindfulness, you will make amazing strides to accomplish all three.  Yoga is a way to practice Mindfulness. YouTube has tons of free videos.  Insight Timer is a phone Ap and using this choose the headphone pic at the bottom of the screen to access thousands of free audios that will talk you through Mindfulness applications. It takes 5 minutes a day. You can do it at bedtime and it will help you sleep, will grow your brain grey matter, and will form new brain connections that will help you self calm when you feel out of control.

You know those people who describe themselves as a “hot mess”?  Those people have none of these things, they’re reacting to external situations like a ping pong ball.  It’s extremely painful.  You have to calm down first before you can figure out how to tackle all the stuff.  Everyone has 5 minutes. You have the power.

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Happiness and Resilience

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