Ok, so the reason that topic and that “delusional disorder diagnosis” resonated so strongly with me is that I’ve also lived with this all my life. So I won’t name names, but living with someone with delusional disorder can make you feel like you’re the “crazy” one, because people around you are all buying into the delusion.
For example: “We have a normal happy family. ” Well, when some in my family started refusing to be in the same room together, or attend the same events, or sit together if they were both there, some others in the family noticed, and some didn’t. What would you think about one of the sibs never telling anyone this occurred after 3 years. What if I told you it was her roomate who comes to every family event who was never told?
Example 2: “I never missed having a father”. Can you truly ever meet someone who might say such a thing? Can you imagine this from anyone ever? Can you imagine a person living through The Depression and never noticing they were poor? No?
Example 3: “I’m very sensitive and very soft”. This is from a person who is frequently angry, impatient, and irritable and yells alot at those close to her. The reality is that the sensitivity is also true, the sweetness is also there, but she doesn’t hear how she sounds. I do this alot of the time also, but I do try to apologize and I do know when I do it and I try to control this. This person fired her therapist when after 3 years, the therapist said to her “you are sensitive”. She fired him because he didn’t believe her when she initially told him this at her first appointment. Why didn’t he? Because he saw a hard, aggressive, difficult lady, and it took 3 years for him to see it. Sad. So she won’t go to therapists anymore. They “waste her time”.
Do we all have some delusions about ourselves and our worlds? Yes, of course we do. We all need some delusions to help us cope and live with the hard facts of life. We believe in concepts like heaven to make death more palatable. We believe in God for the same reason. We believe that things happen for a reason. We try to find something good with whatever badness occurs so we focus on the heroes after a tragedy. There’s nothing wrong with beliefs that help us cope and survive. We need them. We all have some. We’re all imperfect and we all make mistakes, and we’re all just doing the best we can. But the family “stories” when they make you feel sick can be disturbing and damaging, so we have to recognize them as well in ourselves when we see them. That doesn’t mean we have to confront them or try to change them, but just be aware and be prepared when we go into certain situations and settings because it can trigger strong responses that make us feel out of control. So if you and I lose control sometimes, lets forgive ourselves and move on. OK?