When I was little and away at overnight camp and already dealing with depression and loneliness, as at home when I felt that way I would hide out alone somewhere, so I retreated to my top bunk in an empty cabin to cocoon. In the corner of the window near my bed was a spider and a web. I think I named her Sarah, and it gave me some comfort to watch her and feel less alone. Now, you might be shivering- ewwww- and I would have to be honest and tell you I really hate insects and spiders like most people, but Sarah felt like a friend and was interesting to watch. I imagined her coming out and watching me, and I think I tried to feed her, but most of the time she didn’t take what I offered. She certainly knew she didn’t need to be afraid when I was there. She never hid.
So being without a dog for me is pretty unusual. I usually like to have two dogs, but I knew Addie would love being the center of attention and she certainly did. But she’s gone and I find myself without a pet for the first time in many years. Enter the firefly that suddenly started lighting up in my bedroom when I turn out the lights. Now most of us aren’t afraid of fireflies at all, and they’re pretty beautiful at night. This one is flying around the room and I’m finding myself looking forward to seeing her at night. And I watch for her. She’s been in my room for a whole week now, and Tuesday night I woke up my husband to ask if he’s noticed her, and he had, and he’s been enjoying the light show too. Then on Wednesday night there were two fireflies in our bedroom. I enjoyed imagining they were Mocha and Addie coming to check on me and give me some comfort. Then last night again just one firefly.
So I’m taking these beautiful visitors to be visits from my sweeties, and them telling me I’m happy with a pet and it’s time to start that rescue search again. Before I start talking to the spiders again…..and no one will come to my house anymore….ya think?