Sometime when you’re mind is all messed up and you feel so unattractive, you don’t want to leave the house, go to Ted talks and watch “The Ugliest Girl in the World” . This will help you put all your flaws in perspective. Then think about this young lady I know, who was born tragically mis-formed, who looks a million times worse than that lady, who has actually not only left the house, but gotten a job for a major company working with the public, and gotten a degree, and even had a boyfriend. Now imagine, and this is true, her coming home to find her mother suicided. Right? You can’t even imagine.
I can’t imagine her life or what it must take her to go out and keep living. I don’t know what she’s doing now. I met her at a college, and I saw her at the Walgreens, but that was before her mother suicided. Couldn’t her mother gave gone somewhere public? Couldn’t her mother have given her at least this courtesy? Nope, B had to go home and find her brains splattered all over the apartment. No, life is not fair, not at all. Why is it that we feel it should be?
We feel really sorry for ourselves alot, we think life would be easier if we were prettier, and yes, it would be. On the other hand, if you’re really pretty, then people are always looking at you and predators are always trying to manipulate you and get something from you, or you could end up marrying Donald Trump and what a mind f-ck! To have signed a contract to appear at a bully’s side while staying silent, and be sooo grateful he loves golf more than you. How lonely and sad, you’ve been captured by the predator.
Life isn’t fair. Why is it that we feel it should be? Why do our parents make us share when we grow up hardly anyone ever does. They tell us when we’re young we have to be fair, but they’re not. When I grew up, children were “to be seen, and not heard”. What? How insane is that? What were we then? Just possessions? No wonder, being pretty was so prized. If you’re pretty and you stay quiet, you’re just the best little thing! So you’re not quiet, and not that pretty; bad girl! You’re punished for being you. So half of us do get punished by parents who have no idea what they’re doing, and the rest of the babies are truly loved and cherished. I always tell my broken angels, try to find one of those for you life partner. It will help you keep things in perspective. When you’re broken, life really isn’t fair.
Some of us are born a little more broken. We’ve inherited genes to make us different, and different is hard. Different also leads to lots of innovation, and some broken angels are actually loved too- half in fact. Great for them. What about the rest of us?
I finally lost weight. A lifetime of being chubby might actually be past since it’s been two years. But I’m old now. When you lose weight, or alot of weight, you still don’t look that great without clothes on. You get stretch marks and cellulite bumpiness. When I’m in yoga, I get hot. I wear clothing that shows all my bumps. I feel guilty for grossing out people. Then you go to the beach. There’s all those guys wearing skimpy bathing suits and they have huge guts, and I wonder, look at them, they’re so comfortable in their own skins, aren’t they lucky? But some of those flabby not so pretty people? They’re just you and me with all their flaws, trying their best to be brave out there and do their thing. Try to applaud them. Try not to stare. Try to look at their best feature and think look how nice their legs are. I try to focus on my feet, which works well in yoga. I’m very lucky to have nice feet and nails. Nope, life isn’t fair, but it’s what we make it, and how we think about it that makes us one of the ok people with a hanging gut over the swimsuit, or a hiding miserable hermit. So just get out there. Make “imperfect” be Ok.