We should have suspected when the Cubs won the World Series….

That some axis in the world had shifted drastically. But imagine if you are an Illinoisian and living in this blue state, how it must be feeling to be a Cubs fan and be so uplifted one week and then in such despair the next week after this election. I’ve made no effort to hide my feelings towards this man, and they existed way before he ran for office. I find his type of sexism and buffoonery very offensive and always have.

But I do realize now that this means I can’t watch any news programs for the next 3 years until the next election process occurs. My dream candidate would obviously be Michelle Obama, but she’s likely too busy, too successful and too smart to bother, so let me know when I can turn on my news shows again. I suspect I’ll get enough snippets as “Breaking News” when so and so has farted, etc. I’ll have a gist. But since I’m going deep underground for awhile to lick my wounds, I would appreciate your help in notifying me if these things occur.

Please make sure to notify me if:
1. Something happens to the quality of chocolate worldwide so I need to stock up on provisions NOW! RIGHT NOW!
2. Ditto if anything happens to the world supply or access to Chocolate Ice Cream, or Chocolate Chip ice cream or hot fudge, especially if Cheesecake Factory is on the brink of shutting down, PLEASE! I must know in advance to stock up. I have an old refrigerator in my garage that is available and I PROMISE I will share with you if you help me with this.
3. Ditto on Lou Malnati’s pizza. It can be frozen. Please give me at least two weeks as I need to buy an industrial freezer to put in my garage next to my refrigerator.
4. If there occurs a nationwide strike or protest because of losing our health insurance coverage when the ACA ends, PLEASE let me know so I can join you.
5. When it looks like World War 3 is about to start, PLEASE let me know first so I can consume 1,2,and 3. No use wasting it.
6. When pictures and such are posted of Vladimir and his good buddy Donald, PLEASE warn me not to watch any TV! I will throw up 1,2,and 3.

Good things about this presidency:

1. I am sure to lose weight the next four years as I will be watching less TV
2. I am sure to lose weight the next four years as I will be frequently feeling nauseous

Sorry, that’s all I can think of.

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We should have suspected when the Cubs won the World Series….

One thought on “We should have suspected when the Cubs won the World Series….

  1. Shelley says:

    Loved this! It was the first time I smiled all day. The best part is knowing I live close to you and will be able to take you up on your offer to share all those goodies. Unfortunately, some of us will be gaining weight as we attempt to drown our sorrows eating comfort foods while wishing away the next four years of our lives.

    Like

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