Yes, today I’m giving you an opportunity to practice two of the topics of the previous posts: Play More and Celebrate the ASSHOLES! You have the next few weeks to submit your entry, and there will actually be a prize! The prize will be either two of my handmade mugs – or homemade oatmeal or chocolate cookies
Here are your benefits: You get to purge, practice playfulness and we are celebrating the Assholes. And bonus: You get to use the word ASSHOLES a lot.
The Rules: you can reply to the post or email your submissions to email@example.com please be sure to make the subject ASSHOLES. To avoid much retaliation or lawsuits, I am advising you use the persons initials or an acronym such as :
EXAMPLES OF ASSHOLE SUBMISSIONS
1. I think the World’s Biggest ASSHOLE is a certain D.T./ Red Headed Loud and Stupid TV Clown who calls everybody names like “crooked” and “lying” and “loser” while simultaneously bilking innocent people out of their money by guaranteeing success from a University that isn’t actually a University.
2. I think the World’s Biggest ASSHOLE is a lady named P.Geller who incites hatred and loathing by inviting others to draw demeaning cartoon pictures of someone else’s faith’s prophet (Mohammed- but imagine if someone did this to ridicule Jesus, Buddha, Moses, etc). Then tells people who criticize this by calling them Hitler. And makes the police need to protect her from those trying to kill her for making fun of their beliefs, and trying to kick them out of America.
3. I think the world’s biggest ASSHOLES are the people who keep yelling shitty things at me while I’m trying to walk my dog and enjoy my summer, such as “DON”T PEE ON THE ROCKS, THOSE ARE MY ROCKS” lady, or my ASSHOLE neighbor who rode up on his bike yelling “Are you just going to leave that there?” referring to the pee my dog just deposited on his front lawn. And after I reassured him it was pee so I couldn’t pick it up, grunted “OK”, not “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you like that for no reason neighbor, neighbor who walks by every day but I can never bother to say hello to, I’m sorry.” So now every time I go by his house, and the PEE lady, all I can think of is accumulating and dumping a huge pile of poop on the PEE lady’s rocks and a huge bucket of pee every day on the POOP guys’s front lawn so he gets a nice big yellow spot on his manicured lawn- ASSHOLE!
4. Me, for the ASSHOLE I am becoming when I actually do aforementioned things in submission #3.
So have fun and shoot off your mouths and if you want your submission posted using an acronym for yourself, make sure to use the email so your own email address won’t be visible. Good luck and have fun!