Celebrating the Assholes

If you’ve visited my site before, you know that I work on myself daily, adjusting my thought processes to release the things that bother me and feel as happy and light and as unencumbered by negative thoughts as is possible.

So it struck me over the weekend, when I was turning left or right and didn’t do it fast enough for some asshole driving behind me that he laid on the horn, a loud and startling and irritating noise. I think there are a lot of places you can live in the world where people are on their horns all the time, and those people who live there have to adjust to the noise pollution. But in these situations, where I am turning or just not speeding enough for the asshole behind me riding my tail, what is actually the purpose of honking? They are already past me and I am already out of their way. So what is the point in honking as they pass me? In their mind, I guess they’re letting off steam. They have already passed me at the point that they’re laying on the noise, and sometimes I’m not even sure if it’s me they’re honking at? What an annoying behavior and noise right?

But not if I decide, as I figured out this weekend, that the noise of honking is the way assholes celebrate the fact that they are assholes. It’s as if they are saying, “Whoo Hoo! I’m an Asshole and I’ll prove it! HONK HONK”. And who am I to deprive them of being assholes if they are enjoying it, which they clearly must be. So from now on, instead of feeling annoyed when I hear that noise, I’m going to think instead “Yay! That Asshole is celebrating being an asshole” , and who am I to deprive them of that celebration. It makes me want to celebrate too, I’m happy they are happy! So when I find myself thinking they are celebrating this, it actually makes me smile and want to wave and go “Yay” too. “Hooray, you’re an asshole and you’re proud!” And it’s kind of like the Cubs winning a world series or something, Honk Honk, it’s a celebration! And instead of feeling irritated or annoyed, I’m happy! Try it!

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Celebrating the Assholes

2 thoughts on “Celebrating the Assholes

  1. neurosynap8387 says:

    Hello, Happy Monday to u. I will admit that I am one of those proud and happy celebrating being an Asshole honking my obnoxious horn of my almost dead Ford Escort wagon w/a 4cyl engine. Yes I am. Patience isn’t nor ever was a virtue of mine. I will also admit I can’t stand being behind another driver who doesn’t pay attn to the speed limits. If one is lost and eventually this is figured out- I can handle that but not past 5-6 side streets, nope not happening. Sorry to all who may read this and feel offense. Speed Limits are important or they wouldn’t be a law. So if someone chooses to drive 10-15 miles below for whatever reason you feel compelled to do so, Pls,Pls, pull over and allow all the backed up cars behind u to go ahead of you and then you can resume your own speed limit law. Note how many vehicles your decided speed has held behind. U may then realize either u don’t belong driving or have a fear of driving ( which u should address) or are just unsure of your capabilities. No problem with this- there are refresher courses you can take. I understand being lost or unfamiliar with an area you haven’t driven to before, the anxiety it creates, then the frustration and for some a full blown anxiety attack. I’ve been thru this too. Tools are available for getting directions to and from such as a simple Map, an online Map, or what everyone seems to have but me- built in navigation systems in the vehicle, or a GPS that you can have suction cupped to your dash. Unfortunately I have had to use a old fashioned Map, write every street down ect…until April this yr. I was fortunate enough to be able to purchase a Smart Phone- I downloaded Google Maps and now my phone talks to me, tells me ahead of time before I need to turn onto the next street on my route. It’s 1 of the most awesome apps I’ve ever used. I admit also there are just plain Assholes on the road who like to ride the ass of your car to make you go faster, intimidate you into doing what they want you to do. Turn already or speed up or try with all their might to think you onto the shoulder of the road. Hahaha, like myself their very impatient people but I don’t do these things to anyone, I pass them the first chance I can. Don’t you love the ppl who are basically hitching a ride on your cars back end that refuse to pass you no matter how many times they could’ve safely done so?? Me too. I won’t say what I do but it certainly gets them off the back end of my car without me speeding up or pulling over. Then we have the ppl like you experienced Rhonda. I use to yell back at them as I blared my horn too. Now? I beep- beep, wave and yell Hi as I continue happily on my way. I’m a rusher, always trying to get wherever before I’m due there. That ADHD thing is quite a pro at keeping you from walking out that door. I keep trying to tho. Our world is so rushed isn’t it? Why are we living this way? Certainly can’t be healthy for anybody. Society imo is the culprit for this lifestyle. Rush the dogs, rush the kids, rush thru the store, on and on it goes. Rush back home, rush preparing/ family meals if you even have set aside time for that, rush to our workouts, on and on…. starts all over the next day. We’ve all been there I think. I have changed thankfully because there are only 3 things I rush thru or for now. My appts, my visits to my daughters house, or an impromptu invite. The feelings I go thru if late to any of these are not pleasant at all. That’s another story or commentary. So maybe we should all honk back, smile, wave, yell HI or Hello at the asses behind our cars as they go around us, help celebrate the ass they are being@ the moment. Another chuckle and that’s a good thing.

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