One thought on “i simply must pass this on to you…

  1. neurosynap8387 says:

    Ty 4 sharing such a wonderful story of a Woman who lost everything and overcame what can only be viewed as anyones’ worst nightmare of a life come true. Such suffrage she endured. I will say with blunt honesty I’m not her nor have I endured anything that she was forced to endure, fear, lose, and die emotionally within allowing her to grasp once again and grab onto “life” finding that “inner will” again and again. She was able to beat the odds that many of us just can’t seem to even contemplate upon its existence. I can’t remember the exact saying of what I’m about to say but it’s something similar. Your struggles, pain and suffrage, your tolerances of those who abused you, which has ultimately brought u to whom u are today along w/ where u are today in your life does not mean all I’ve also suffered, tolerated, also lost the wholeness of the woman I use to be as u have too, diminish the intensity of my pain and suffrage if compared to yours. I feel we (not all of us) may @ times find our pain is somehow seen as less than one who may have suffered what others see as “It could always be worse” and I will agree with the saying but there is always a ( but ) after this agreement. The only person who can ever measure the pain u have lived is someone who experienced the same situation you did, lost exactly all u lost. How many ppl can relate to what is never spoken? In no way am I being cynical or negative nor does Pity enter either. Yes many things can always be worse but in no way does this mean the pain felt by 1 is less than pain felt by another. I certainly don’t mean anything trivial that can easily be laughed away due to passage of time. We are not the same, everyone deals with things differently. How wonderful life would be if when we have chosen to release what we held onto far past our own desire stayed released. I think for some this happens. I thought I had released and forgiven and felt the weight fall, literally felt it fall. I felt such gratitude that my hard work finally was suddenly done. Relief overwhelmed me. The burden of anger and emotional pain is heavy. I was truly able to move on. I believed whole heartedly things could only get better from that point on. I actually feel happy for anyone who reaches this level of healing for I know the struggle to attain it. I have enormous admiration for this Woman. Hatred is exhausting isn’t it? Forgiveness can seem wrong when someone has destroyed all u were, all u hoped to become, taken small pieces of you- to throw away w/o your own knowledge of what’s being done to you. I know we must continue to work toward forgiving so we can live w/o that weight of hatred, anger, and despairing thoughts. We must strive to want to find that desire to pull ourselves up even if it may seem a daunting task we have no energy for. I do this alone, I am alone. It’s complicated. I have never had a support system in my family to help me fight this shit. I’m not alone in that. I choose to stay busy outside, I awake to a melody of Cardinals and Robin’s. I embrace the slightest breeze and allow the strongest wind to blow around me. I allow it’s energy to cleanse my thoughts and focus upon the moment. For awhile life is good. Everyday can bring a new insight if u allow it. This is what I seek daily. Mostly I’m not negative, I’m surprisingly optimistic. It’s others actions/attitudes that cloud that optimism sometimes. Hang with the ones who are “real” if you know them. We need to be each other’s check and balance @times I think. I hope the rest of the week is great for you. Btw? I had to laugh at your mention of being late to Zumba is acceptable. I can relate to that feeling. Ty Rhonda. I apologize for the long post. Didn’t even realize.

    Liked by 1 person

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