I guess we all have them sometimes, and sometimes looking back with a little perspective it doesn’t make sense why it was so bad, but here it is. Here’s my horrible day. It was Wednesday, my midweek day off. Lucky girl, huh? I had planned to bring my dog in for scheduled surgery to remove a fatty tumor that was starting to affect her walking, she was starting to limp. The vet says surgical cases have to be in the office by 8:15 am. That means I have to skip yoga. Ok, I’ll get over it. I’ll do my Zumba later. In fact, since I’m actually hating to put her under the knife, I’ll just stay home near the phone and do the Zumba using my Wii so I will be sure not to miss their call. I drop her off and go home. I’m a nervous wreck.
Her being there brings up two things for me. One is the death of my other precious baby almost two years ago, but I constantly miss her. I walk by her picture of her as a puppy the day we brought her home, being snuggled by my husband, every day in our hallway of pictures, and I can’t believe it. It literally feels like a blink of an eye that she was a puppy and is now gone. It shocks me every single day, how could that possibly have happened? Addie now needing surgery just confirms that truth is getting closer also. I’m beginning to understand how pet lovers come to that point where they just can’t put themselves through it anymore. I understand why people get so attached to the love of their pets, the comfort they provide, and just can’t go through the loss again. The second thing that comes up for me is that a month ago I brought her to the same vet for a tooth extraction that turned out to be 6 teeth extractions. But I didn’t know that at the time. I just knew I was to drop her off by 8:15, and that I expected her to be done around 1pm and to pick her up an hour later. So by 1:30 pm I had started calling every 20 minutes, and when I didn’t get answers right away I started freaking out. It all turned out fine, just bad communication on their part.
So shame on me right for letting them put me in this situation again? Right? I was already much more nervous about this surgery. The area where the tumor, already biopsied as benign, was the exact same place my Mocha had her cancer. Other than the cancer, it was the same surgery, and I was remembering the recovery process and worried, as well as the worry because any anesthesia can be a problem. So yesterday after 3 hours I was trying to keep my mind occupied doing little things around the house, I ran out to make two quick stops. One was to the Korean grocery for tofu, bean sprouts and thai curry powder to fix some panang curry noodles. The other was to the bank for some cash for Friday.
The grocery store was uneventful. I went to the bank, the ATM wouldn’t let me make the withdrawal so I went inside. My bank American Chartered is in the midst of merging with MB Financial, so I’ve been told and have already successfully used MB’s ATMS. Yesterday, it didn’t work. I went inside. They also couldn’t help me, the people at MB seem to think I should have no access to their ATM or my accounts there, so that was frustrating. So I figured I’ll just transfer the money on my phone then from savings to checking, since they say they can only view my checking account. When the merge first occurred, they made us change our password. I have a “note” file on my phone where I keep a reminder of my password, so I knew I was using the password. After 3 tries, I was locked out. Called the company. The first guy said he cleared it and it should work now. I explained to him that I did know my password. He said I’m good to go. Also that my savings is no longer linked to my checking, he will fix that. Get off the phone, get locked out again of course. Called again, this woman explains then that I have to reset it, and to do that I have to be on a PC or laptop, can’t do it from the phone. Ok, I remember maybe the fix of linking again the two accounts – lost during the “merge” is already working. I go back to the ATM. I’ve now spent 30 minutes at the bank I thought would take 5, and this time at the ATM I just withdraw the money from my checking. Works just fine. Figured, ok, lets see now if I can transfer the money from savings from the ATM, now this is working just fine.
Go home and check the answering machine. Find out the vet called at 9:30 am, which I hadn’t known since they called at the exact time my husband was getting a work call that I let go to the message machine. So I had no idea there was a call from them. The vet isn’t going to do the surgery. The surgery would be too extensive and she wants me to take her to an orthopedic specialist. Yes, fine right? But why just leave one message at 9:30 and not try to call back when no-one heard back from me? Why tell me a few weeks ago when she extracted my dog’s teeth she could and suggested I think about having this benign growth removed? They’re suggesting at the vets’ office that in that few weeks the growth expanded that much! BULL! Own your mistake, people! Damn, we all make mistakes some times. Just say sorry, but no, I get nothing. Just a f-ing ruined day, mental trauma, frustration and wanting to scream! So what does any well adjust girl do?
I pick up my dog. It’s now 1pm and I haven’t eaten yet today. Did I mention I’ve been dieting for 10 months now? My success depends a lot on my exercising, so of course when I tried to exercise when I got home, I visualized how funny it could be in a funny YouTube video to watch the Wii people’s routine on the TV and the real people at home standing and just shaking the remote and not moving at all, but doing this lethargic version of the routine while the Wii game tells them what a good job they’re doing, and that’s what I do. Funny. Waste of more time. End of attempt to exercise. I was too worried to eat earlier, but now I settle in with two big bowls of barbequed potato chips and a three and a half serving bag of malted milk balls, then a bowl of cheese popcorn. I guess I had a few grapes in the morning. That was my nutrition.
I spent the rest of the day, so many hours, watching Law and Order re-runs and playing Candy Crush. I can’t even speak. Yesterday? After days and days of being good on my diet? The scale weighed me as gaining a pound. Today, that pound is gone. I guess all my pouting and pity party got rid of a lot of SH-T. It’s a new day. Today will be better.